Everyday we are confronted with anxieties, feelings of depression, frustrations or helplessness for which our daily reality does not provide any answers. You might have finally finished working on your dream house, have a satisfying job, wonderful children and still experience feelings of loss or frustration, even feel displeased or as if there is no light at the end of the tunnel.
2. WHAT ARE FAMILY CONSTELLATIONS?
A family constellation is a representation of the family into which you belong. This can be your family of origin or the relation (and possible children) you have now. This is done through representatives. Representatives in the constellation have access to the feelings and the mutual relations of those they represent.
In a constellation certain patterns out of the family system will come to light. What is shown in a family system cannot be conceived by our minds.
If we were able to think of this with our minds, then there would be no problem.
Often we look at our parents (often the only thing visible to our eyes) as the cause of our suffering. Our parents in their turn, are also children of their parents and just like us, they belong to a greater family system, in which certain events have occurred, of which they are often victim too. By representing these systems we can observe recurring patterns in different generations that are inherited from parent to child.
3. HOW DOES A WORKSHOP GO?
After an introduction of how to represent and the method of the systemic work, the facilitator asks if there is someone who wants to work on something. It is not necessary to know this beforehand or to be able to formulate it precisely. If the problem could be solved by thinking only, then there would be no need for a constellation. Constellations shed light on what is beyond the mind.
The facilitator invites the client to answer a few questions to conclude which elements or people will be represented. The client will then pick other participants to represent the element or person. Then the client will set up the representative in the room. When all representatives are set up, the client sits down and observes what the constellation shows.
The facilitator will ask the representatives weather they observe certain changes in their physical experience to then move them or let them take a more suitable place or position. If every representative has found their right position, the client can, if they wish to, take their position in the constellation.
Participants in this workshop will be able to experience this new method as a client and/or a representative.
If you don’t wish to be a representative in a certain constellation, you can indicate this. There is no obligation to do anything. Participants that do not set up a constellation and only represent or observe are often deeply moved by what happens during the constellations and are also able to have a deeper insight into their own situation by taking part.
An explanation for some feelings in our family background could be:
- A feeling of loss that can only be satisfied by eating sweets can find its origin in the loss of a child in the former generation.
- The feeling of not being able to live can stem from a grandfather surviving the war, while his brothers in arms did not. As it were, the person stays connected to the deceased companions of his grandfather.
5. POSSIBLE QUESTIONS
Each family event can lead up to certain feelings in the descendants, of which, among others:
- A general feeling of dissatisfaction without apparent causes
- Recurring fear, anxiety, anger, sadness
- Relationship troubles
- Difficult processing of a divorce or separation
- Fear of commitment
- Negative self-image
- Difficult family relations
- Children with behavioral problems
- Physical symptoms without a clear identifiable cause
- Burn-out, stress or overstrain
6. EVENTS IN YOUR FAMILY HISTORY
Certain events in our family history may have an influence on us or on our offspring.
For your own constellation it is useful to know the facts about your family history of yourself back to your great-grandparents. These questions can help you for the preparation. Bring your information (only facts, not stories) along to the workshop.
- How many children were there?
- Were there any miscarriages or abortions?
- Are there children who passed away too soon?
- Is there a parent who passed away too soon?
- Was there an extramarital child, a stillborn child or a possible miscarriage or
- Was there a previous marriage of one of the (grand)parents?
- Was there a forbidden or secret love?
- Was there a serious illness, accident or disability?
- Was there any suicide?
- Was there any death as a consequence of war?
- Was anyone excluded?
- Are there family secrets?
- Was there a perpetrator or victim of a crime?
7. WHO IS HILDE VAN BULCK?
Hilde Van Bulck is an author, speaker, transformer, education expert and systemic facilitator. She is the founder and driving force of Samtati and The New Life Teaching. From her twenty-five years of experience as a teacher, coordinator and director and her experiences as an energetic transformation coach, she has put down a revolutionary concept for teaching and education: The New Life Teaching. Her goal? A wide, inspiring movement for educational launch. She wrote ‘The stubborn frog, the secret of teaching and educating’. It is a book full of lived experiences and practical exercises for schools in movement. Earlier, she wrote ‘The night of our lives’ a personal testimony about the unconditional love at the death of her husband.
Hilde has specialized in constellation work on all life issues. Her work is distinguished by a respectful approach, a refined finishing touch, a profound integration and a personal style.
Hilde Van Bulck
+32 15 31 54 81
+32 493 247 547