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John Griswold — Borrow money from a pessimist — they don’t expect it back.

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221B Baker Street

221B Baker St

London, London NW1 6XE

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Let’s go be bad guys! If anyone gets nosy, just …you know … shoot ’em. Shoot ’em? Politely, of course. I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you. Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science fiction. We live in a spaceship, dear. Yes sir, Captain Tightpants! Course you couldn’t buy an invite with a diamond the size of a testicle, but I got my hands on a couple. Also? I can kill you with my brain. Next time you want to stab me in the back, have the guts to do it to my face. Every man there go back inside or we will blow a new crater in this little moon.
Well, my time of not taking you seriously is coming to a middle. I’ve been under fire before. Well … I’ve been in a fire. Actually, I was fired. I can handle myself. Let’s go be bad guys! How did your brain even learn human speech? Just get us on the ground! That part will happen pretty definitely! Here lies my beloved Zoe, my autumn flower … somewhat less attractive now that she’s all corpsified and gross. Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science fiction. We live in a spaceship, dear. Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill ’em right back! You know what the chain of command is? It’s the chain I go get and beat you with until you understand who’s in ruttin charge here.

I’ve opened a door here that I regret. I care deeply for nature. That’s what it said on ‘Ask Jeeves.’ Whoa, this guy’s straight? We just call it a sausage. Really? Did nothing cancel? Steve Holt! There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor. As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch.

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221B Baker Street

221B Baker St

London, London NW1 6XE

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