I would love all my much-missed friends from the government workhouse to join me for this belated farewell, along with my family and friends and other birthday revellers.

There'll be drinks and music and people aplenty, from my 36 years as Revenue & Custom’s shiest ever employee. Add a luscious BBQ and cocktail on arrival, as well as the premier of the Two Dickies stand-up, the fledgling Dickie awards (that's a lot of Dickie for one night, I know, but you can never have too much) and you have the recipe for an unforgettable night!

Numbers are limited, so there is a nominal £5 charge for tickets, mainly to ensure only the committed RSVP in the affirmative and for this you get all the aforementioned goodies, limited-edition souvenirs and much more; worth a princely £25! Feel free to ask partners, friends, lovers and anybody else you can stick for a whole evening, but act early to avoid heart-breaking disappointment…