Summer Online Death Cafe (2024)

“Death is not the opposite of life but an innate part of it. By living our lives, we nurture death” Haruki Murakami

Death Cafes provide a safe, confidential space for anyone to come and talk about death and dying in any way they want to. Since their inception in 2011, Death Cafes have played a vital role in how society is changing its relationship towards death and dying.

Following a very successful face-to-face Death Cafe in 2022, we are now offering online Death Cafes four times a year led by Wisdom Space Elders Sue Judge and Sue Brayne, and end-of-life doula Elodie Fuentes. We decided to offer these online to make them affordable and accessible to everyone, including those who live outside of Wiltshire, and to minimise costs. We hope they are an on-going source of support to anyone who needs help with end of life issues.

Your facilitators

• Sue Brayne has facilitated over a hundred Death Cafes and is the host of Embracing Your Mortality Podcasts. She has an MA in the Rhetoric and Rituals of Death and is the author of several books on death and dying including Living Fully, Dying Consciously: the path to spiritual wellbeing. Sue is a TEDx speaker and spoke at TEDxFrome on "Wear your mortality with pride" and we have included her video below.
• Sue Judge is a Living Well facilitator for one of the UK’s leading cancer charities Penny Brohn, and has facilitated Death Cafes as well as loss & grief workshops. Sue is also a Nutritional Therapist, natural wellness coach and is training to become an Eco-psychologist.

What to expect

What is a Death Café? Death Cafes (deathcafe.com) were set up by Jon Underwood in 2011 to provide a safe, confidential setting for people to come together to talk about death and dying and what really matters over a piece of cake and cup of tea. We’re holding it online with a small group so that you can bring your own drink and relax in the comfort of your home.

What Death Cafes are not. Death Cafes are not therapy sessions or grief and bereavement groups. Rather, they provide a space to share and discuss issues related to mortality, death and dying and end of life without agendas, objectives or themes.

‘Rules’ There are no ‘rules’ as such. Just turn up, be willing to engage in conversations that really matter and we ask that you remain with the Death Cafe for the full two hours.. However, it is always requested that participants speak from their own personal experiences, e.g. using ‘I’ and ‘me’. We kindly ask that you do not speak for others, or from personal, political or religious agendas and to respect that this is not a place to sell products or promote business. We also kindly ask you to turn on your cameras so that we can build rapport as a group and stay present.

Self-Care. Death Cafes are not recommended for those who have experienced profound loss and grief within the past twelve months. It is also recommended that those struggling with mental health issues should have emotional or psychological support in place before attending a Death Cafe.

How much does it cost? We are grateful for all donations - however big or small. Our suggested donation of £3.50 helps us to cover our costs as a not-for-profit community interest company and to continue to provide Death Cafes for the long term. 

How it works. A zoom link will be sent nearer the time for those who sign up. This link will take you into an online waiting room. We will start the death cafe promptly and will then close the waiting room so please do click on your zoom link early to avoid any disappointment. We start on time because there is always so much to share within the two hours, and we close the waiting room promptly to keep a safe space and to avoid people joining midway during meaningful conversations.