I Ditched Dating Apps for IRL Dating, and This is What Happened
By Hardeep Dhadda, London
Like most people I know, I am TIRED of dating apps. I’ve been using them for the past couple of years and the mountain of horror stories only seems to get bigger. Where’s the fun? Where’s the romance? At this point I have no idea. I just wanna meet someone hot and nice IRL when I’m doing my food shop, is that too much to ask? This year (after another horror story) I decided to delete dating apps FOR GOOD – I swear, and around the same time Eventbrite asked me if I’d be up for trying some fun IRL dating events on their app, and I was like hell yes!
I’ve gotta be honest, I’m not easily impressed but when I checked out the dating events Eventbrite had, I was excited; graffiti workshops, quizzes, salsa, comedy nights the list goes on. It was the exact opposite of cringey speed dating with someone ringing a bell and everyone switching seats. I ended up going to five IRL dating events in one month and here’s some of my thoughts …
IRL dating events are a good way to get out of your comfort zone and try new things.
I’ve always wanted to try stand-up comedy AND I’ve always wanted to dip my toe into the world of shibari and believe it or not there were dating events for both of those! I tried stand-up comedy at an event where singles get up and tell their worst dating stories (which is actually jokes) and I went to a rope jam event where you learn all about the art of shibari from an expert – whilst dating like hello that’s so fun and VERY London.
You know quite fast if someone is your kind of person and if there is a vibe.
Humour is important to me. My humour is quite deadpan and when I’ve been chatting in the past on dating apps, I find myself having to explain *that was a joke* (eyeroll). IRL when you meet people at dating events you can gauge quite quickly if you have a similar humour, whether you click at all or are on the same vibe, obviously there can be nerves but still you can see if there is any potential. It’s hard to tell if there is a spark on dating apps and when you’re talking over message it’s easy to misunderstand each other. Dating IRL solves both of those issues and saves you time because the next time you meet, you’re building on from your first meeting instead of starting from nothing.
You’ll meet people who are serious about dating (if that’s what you want)
Everybody I met at the five dating events I went to were upfront about what they were looking for. Normally it’s me asking ‘so what are you looking for’ but 9 times out of 10 I was being asked that question first. If you wanna be around people who are dating seriously, then IRL is for you. It takes some confidence to buy a ticket and turn up to an event specifically for dating and imo that requires more from a person than just downloading a dating app and swiping away.
You also avoid the problem of endless messaging and wondering whether the relationship will ever develop off the app, because it already is!
And you might make some friends too
One of my favourite (and unexpected) things about the dating events were my conversations with the girlies in the bathroom. At all the events I made friends with women around my age, and we bonded over pretty much anything – outfits, hobbies as well as our similar dating experiences.I took friends with me to each event which was a laugh (and deffo recommended if you’re a bit shy) and one girl asked us for advice and a second opinion on a guy. Making friends at the events is something I didn’t expect to happen but I’m so glad that it did. It was a cheeky bonus.
So … did it work?
You’re probably wondering, did I meet the love of my life? Sadly not. Dating this year has been a bit draining for me and I’m choosing to take the pressure off. I’m gonna have a hot girl summer focusing on myself, my friends and having a bloody good time!
Here’s some events that I’ll be hitting up this summer:
- One of my absolute FAVOURITE online girlies Chanté Joseph is putting on ‘Strangers in the City’ events to combat loneliness in London. I’ve lived in London a while, and I tell you these are very much needed.
- Flock Together regularly arrange birdwatching/nature walks for POCs, they’re a great way to meet a lot of likeminded people. They’re completely free and you might be able to grab some cute merch as well.
- If you wanna look after yourself and feel good Soul Sisters Alex & Maddy full body strength and sweat classes are THE ONE. I used to hate working out until I met these two, they are the best in the business and got me the strongest I’ve ever been. Alternatively, check out Tereza Halova’s Strength & Conditioning Workshop.
- Now if you’re looking to TURN UP and have a good time, your local energy provider Remi Burgz is the hostess with the mostess. Guaranteed good music and vibes at She Loves Rum (I’ll be on the waters but still dancing 💦).
- Entrepreneur and all-around baddie F Being Humble aka Stefanie Sword-Williams (with a name like that how can you not be) puts on wholesome events around confidence and building community. Her next London events are TBC but this is the place to go if you need a boost.